bye bye 07

January 2, 2008

it took me two days to get out of bed, pry my eyelids open with a seamripper, shake-a-shake off those gin and tonic/PBR gaggies, find my laptop under piles of tights and sweaters, and compose this ‘ welcome to 08’ ‘ post.i never party on new years eve so i had to get several years of comercially instilled emotion and sentiment out of my system. it felt great, i hugged a stranger, it felt better, i danced, i vomitted, i woke up in my own bed (mostly unscathed) and it was all over. boo.


-stop typing and thinking and talking in lowercase. grow up emo child.

-Enjoy the small beautiful things in life even if they amount to nothing. 

– lighten up, kid. the world is not such a scary place.

-never drink PBR and gin together again.

Happy New Year ! 


don’t be glum

December 6, 2007

It is hard not to be glum in my city right now. We all think horrific things won’t/can’t happen  close to home. This time it happened at a mall less than two miles from my home. My phone rang off the hook yesterday and I made other’s phones ring. (which I am quite bad at,calling people)” Are you okay? Where are you ? Come home, text me, call me, anything”To feel so relieved and so loved and so in love and so sad and confused. It was such a weird emotional day.Today my store’s primary goal was to be uplifting. We had a store birthday with vegan cupcakes, signs, decorations, and laughter. Hopefully our ‘good vibes’  rubbed off on our customers. I am never a cheerleader, I am pretty negative and cynical actually, and it felt nice to smile and laugh for once.I still do not fully accept the fact that I live in a place where there was a mall shooting. I doubt I will ever see the inside of that mall again. 

We’re Both So Sorry.

November 22, 2007

 Have you heard a song with that title ? It is sung by Mirah. Lord, I love Mirah. I love that song. It makes me feel like I have a bit of potential.( Why ? Don’t know) Then it makes me feel so sad and gross for wasting my potential. When does one finally use this potential ? When does one finally get that push, that motivation, to get up off their ass and do SOMETHING. Sure, I do something everyday. I serve coffee. I make sure other people serve coffee correctly. Okay okay, really I do nothing.

Once I had a mentor. Someone who asked all the right questions and never directly answered mine. My mentor was honest, painfully so. The criticism this person gave me was just beautiful. Then my mentor went away. I think I need a new mentor. Wanting a mentor, or more specifically feeling like I need a mentor, is very discouraging. If I cannot get on with it and be genius and lovely without someone else behind me will I ever really do it ? 

Some days the little maiden in my head just keeps repeating ” You should be in grad school now. You should be in grad school now”.

I feel restless, not unhappy. I am thankful for many things and people; replenishing lentil stew, crazy loud family, the Twin Peaks box set sitting in my lap, and the gorgeous and sexy person who purchased it for me (eventhough it is just a way to keep me from complaining about hours and hours and hours of Halo, which it is not).

Hey…. is your name Avery ?? 

The greatest enchiladas ever.

November 18, 2007



Omg. I made the best enchiladas ever. I don’t mean the best vegan enchiladas or the best American enchiladas..I mean the best ever.

 The filling is:

TVP re-hydrated with h20,tamari,and lemon juice

1/2 can of chick peas (I ate the other half this morning..breakfast)

1/2 can of good organic diced tomaters

1 can good diced green chillies

1/2 head of broccoli, blanched and diced finely

seasoning blend; cumin, garlic, cayenne, chili, coriander, black pepper (eyeballed, lotsa cumin and garlic, maybe a bit too much cayenne for me)

Filled several good organic tortilla shells after slightly steaming them in the micro, and coating them in the enchilada sauce. Topped with enchilada sauce, almost an entire brick of Vegan Gourmet Cheddar, and some sliced olives.

So good. I went a bit heavy on the Veg. Gourmet, mainly to get rid of it. I actually got it to melt this time ! I followed the melting tips on their site and it worked. The broccoli was an awesome addition. My live-in joykiller, however, just informed me that it smells like decomposition in here from my best ever enchiladas. Asshole, like the Parmesan cheese you put on every meal you eat doesn’t make the place smell like vomit and feet.


Sweet fantasy

November 14, 2007

If you have to fantasize about one person tomorrow, when your brain is bored and overly caffeinated, fantasize about this person:


Ned, the pie maker ! Dreamy. Peach pie is my favorite, by the way. I haven’t had it in years. Love the eyebrows. 

1) Crazy Lady:

I think you must be an alcoholic. My friend and I saw you being  dropped off by a cabbie at 5 o’clock on a Thursday, last May. This does not seem odd, in itself, but the cabbie had to carry you inside. You were flailing about. The cabbie did not come out for a really long time. Whoa, scandalous. The next time I saw you was in July. You were fighting a man and yelling at him. You threw his keys and then slammed him in the car door. You ripped his shirt, scratched his face, got the keys, and then drove off. He looked broken. You came back and the cops came. I went inside to workout and when I returned you were waiting by the door and talking on the phone. You have a son and you scare me. Move out. Your son can stay here for awhile as long as he is nice to my dog. (Awhile as in a week or two, we have crazy parties sometimes) (No, not really, but I like to walk around in my robe)

2)Blue Collar- Third Shift Man

Yes, we all know about your skunky habit. You open your patio door and let it waft out for everyone to smell.You have no fear. It is alright with me. I am not a narc. You walk out with your hood pulled up to get more from a shady character in an Escalade. You have a small daughter who I have only seen one time. She has a Dora backpack and looks very cute. I did not smell it when she was here. I also never smell it during the week. You remind me of my dad. He works weird shifts and wears that same dark blue jacket. Why do people who work in plants always wear those jackets ? Do you work with my dad ? My dad is the best, however, he would not be so carefree if he had a habit like yours. I think this is hereditary. You should rent a garage and furnish it. That would be rad. I hope you are nice to your daughter so she can respect the blue jacket someday.

3) Fitness Bitch (Fitness Woman)

Yes, we used to call you Fitness Bitch. You are very fit and used to be quite a bitch. You redeemed yourself when you said something nice about my car. I don’t think you stole that thing off my porch, did you ? Where have you been ? Did you move or do you go to the gym now, because it is cold ? What gym do you go to ? Do they have a hot tub ?

4) Yippy Dog-Mom

I hate your dog. I hate your dog. I like you but I am extremely jealous of you. You have an awesome car (which inspired me) and a scooter !! I think your family is very well off. You are nice and do thoughtful things, however, I think you are avoiding your boyfriend. He can never reach you. You chain your dog up on your patio. To compensate for your rule-bending I have started to just let my dog out, unleashed, to do her business wherever she pleases. ( I CLEAN IT UP….gah!) She likes this freedom and I will be so sad if they crack down on it. So, please, don’t stop breaking the doggie rules so I feel okay about breaking them as well.


this person

November 13, 2007


Sometimes this person gets very catastrophically upset about very little, tiny things. Only sometimes. This person can usually handle many upsetting things. On occasion this person gets hurt very badly by people with the best intentions. This person can sometimes be very narcissistic but who is not, some of the time ? This post is very emo but that is okay because sometimes people have emo days. This is acceptable in small increments as long as this person has the afternoon off of work, which they do. This person is going to sulk and will regain composure once they consume kombucha tea and take a long shower. (This person should probably consult an aesthetician about the brows and a doctor about the blotchiness.)

Sunday Waiting

November 11, 2007

I am glad to be home. I am very not glad that it is Sunday and it is 6 o’clock. I forgot how weekends zoom by when you leave home. I forgot what homesickness was. Yes, I was gone one night. I missed my computer,my roomie, my dog, my cuddle chair, MY PILLOW, my bed, everything. My sister’s friends are silly and rude and empty. My sister is not empty. I don’t know why she is wasting her time. Maybe it is because she lives in a football town. Maybe it is because she judges things before she can truly experience them. Maybe she complains too much, like me.


 I won’t complain about the food.  I now have all the makings for my vegan Thanksgiving feast. I also have muffins, amazing croutons, and banana soy pudding ! I love pudding. I think it is my favorite food. Adults tend to dislike pudding. They prefer pies or tortes. Pudding is better. I will know I have reached adulthood when I stop craving pudding. While I was with my sister I also had the most delicious ‘Tofuna’ sandwich and some good but not great pizza. I forgive them because they were playing the best music in that pizzeria.



Blue Velvet

November 9, 2007

I have watched Blue Velvet (on Tivo) like five times in the past two weeks. Sicko. Twice was to show others the part where Dennis Hopper gets hardcore creepy and hilarious. Oh, Dennis Hopper. You are a bad man. 

 When I was a wee maiden I had these reoccurring dreams where a phone would ring or a door bell and then I would lose my mind and chaos would ensue in a very subtle way. Usually it would involve a mysterious blond boy whose face would turn to horror. I would see this a close-up on the boy’s mouth. He was usually out of view, on the other side of the door or the phone. David Lynch films make me feel the same way except for Blue Velvet. It just makes me chuckle.

I don’t think I have ever really chuckled. Have I ?

Tofurkey Roast w/ Stuffing

Mashed Potatoes and Punk Rock Chick Pea Gravy

Lemon pepper asparagus 

Ciabatta rolls

No Bake Black Bottom Peanut Butter Silk Pie 

(Mom’s paaasta salad) 

  Driving up to see my seester on Saturday. Don’t tell her, but the food co-op is the main reason I am heading up there. She is a bonus. Ever since they closed down Wild Oats I have been very depressed about my food options. Whole Foods offers very little affordable vegan options (although they did have the choc. peanut butter Uncle Eddie’s last time). I think it is a local problem. The Whole Foods is in the richest part of town which gives them a clientele that shops organic and gourmet. Let’s say they sell alot of pricey meat, seafood, and wine. I am lucky to have the co-op sort of within driving distance. I want to raid their vegan friendly deli and bakery. I want a Tofurkey Roast!!! I am appalled that I cannot find it at Foods. Also, GOOD soy cheese/veggie pizza is on the horizon. The only place here that serves Vegan Gourmet has like olive and mushroom as their only vegetable options. Yuck ! Vegan Gourmet is best served on a pizza with broccoli and zucchini and onion and……..Yeah. I can’t wait to get out of this town if only for a night.